What are normal thoughts anymore?

Do we know if death is close?

Lately I’ve had some medical issues and I started thinking of the days before my moms death. When she got out of the hospital after a surgery. She wanted a haircut and we went. As she was sitting there in the chair, or even at home while we were telling her to relax, not to do to much. Sitting in the couch watching all of us, her kids and grandkids just doing random everyday things. Did she sit there thinking this is it? Will this be the last time I see them? Did she look at each one of us and wonder, like how did I raise these kids….

Is this negative thinking or is this just normal?

Is the fact that I’m not positive thinking at all moments, a horrible thing?